Satire

New Australian legislation to ‘bootstrap’ innovation

This is satire (for the avoidance of doubt, fake news being what it is).

The Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has announced that his government will soon pass legislation to enable Australian businesses to innovate at a rate far beyond that possible in other western countries.

The legislation, being drafted at present, will suspend the laws of physics and remove constraints around chemical processes.

In a statement, Mr Turnbull said that the legislation will help Australia’s ailing mining industry by enabling alchemy for the first time in history, bolstering government coffers from the export of gold and rare-earth elements needed for modern technology.

Australia will enter the race to build a working fusion reactor, and Turnbull expects scientists to have a working reactor within 6 months.

This statement has been issued following an earlier comment that the law of mathematics don’t apply in Australia. While the world was at first sceptical, Australian mathematicians subsequently quickly solved the Hodge conjecture, the Riemann hypothesis and Hilbert’s fifteenth problem. Solutions to other problems are expected to follow.

Upon hearing about the legislation, world leaders condemned the move, and expressed concern that Turnbull may also legislate against climate change, creating an eden-like utopia with highly productive farmlands.

When asked for comment, New Zealand’s Prime Minister Bill English said that people take the laws of nature seriously, and while legislating against them was a bold political move, the electorate would eventually see through it.

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